And speaking of Canada, they're getting their own Gay TV channel next year. Wow. OK now I'm trying to decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

C'mon, don't tell me you've never been attracted to a doctor or dentist (or whoever) before. Tell me your stories, I'm serious. I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

Also, this is fucking ridiculous. Oh no, don't let the gay man do volunteer work! He might molest little boys or masturbate on our Thanksgiving stuffing!!

It should not take a special day for me to realize these things, but holidays are usually the only time my whole family is home together. So maybe holidays do serve a purpose, intended or not.

I am also thankful for my good friends who call me randomly and make me sit there and smile like an idiot for hours just hearing their nice voices. One girl in particular. I love her so much. Maybe "too much for a gay man." Well. Whatever.

How's this for an infographic:

Oh man, the hate mail page has gotta be the funniest thing I've seen in a while.

"I bet you have a mullet. --ratman" HAHA

Oh yeah, last weekend I watched UHF with my roommate, and the part where there's a Rambo spoof commercial for "Gandhi II" is like the most hilarious thing ever! Y'know, the part where Gandhi is going around kicking everyone's ass and blowing up stuff. When the announcer went "no more Mr. Passive Resistance'" or whatever, I swear I laughed so hard I almost pissed in my pants.

And then the part where the bad guys open the closet marked "Supplies," and when they open the door, a buncha Asian martial arts guys jump out and scream "SUPPLIES!" haha!! Get it? 'Cause Asians say "R" like "L"...OK, so maybe that's kinda racist. But I'm allowed to laugh at it since I'm Asian, right?

"Ohhh, red snappa, mmmm, very tasty..."

Today in hostory class, we watched powerful footage of Martin Luther King, Jr. being escorted by federal troops in Chicago 1966 during a large, public, white power rally (yes, WHITE power). It was pretty incredible to see the pure hatred on peoples' faces as they threw rocks at him and set off small bombs in the large crowd. Amazing how as one of the bombs would explode and make a large BANG noise, King (and the guards around him) would suddenly lower his head and keep walking.

So of course, after the class, I was thinking about how much more "progressive" America has been since that period of time in terms of civil rights and mainstream attitudes towards racial discrimination against colored people, and minorities in general.

I actually think about this a lot these days. Not just 'cause I'm part of probably the smallest minority in the US (Asian homos are not exactly a North American cash crop).

Have we really come that much further?

Its really tough to answer that question (keeping in mind the fact that there is obviously no right or wrong answer, but pure diversity in opinion), since I was born into a so-called "moderate" society, which is seemingly (on the outside, at least) much "better" than the way things were just 35 years ago.

Reason enough for us to be raised by TV, and be good little submissive, unquestioning, law-abiding, America-is-number-one, that's-the-way-things-are-so-deal-with-it citizens...right?

Urgh. I hope my sarcasm is understood...

Sometimes I wish I could build myself a time machine so I could teleport myself to certain times in history to see what it was really like to live under certain conditions. Textbooks can only do so much.

Why do your eyes paralyze me
What makes me feel this way
Just carry me away with silence and heartbeats
As rapid thinking about your embrace
and how it makes me feel
I just want to feel this way forever
Sleep on portraits painted as perfect as you
Why have I been given the chance to fly
When I'm not with you I feel lesser alone
I remember your face / imprinted on angels
Your voice as beautiful / as the sounds of waves
crashing against my heart
Time slows down when you look at me
I'm infatuated with this / infatuated with you
It’s so hard for me to understand why
I hadn't found you before don't dull away
hold my hand

The music is heavy as fuck. Lots of screaming. But sit down and read the lyrics and there's all this beautiful imagery and stuff in it. Simple, yet it makes sense.

Fuck you. He's cute. hehe

Can't you just picture him with a skinny Asian-American punk rock boy who is obsessed with Oingo Boingo??

But I think instead of doing a new design each month, I'll just update it whenever. So it could be once every day or once every year (most definitely and hopefully the former).

'Cause I go through these phases where I'll spontaneously think of a design concept, then I'll be like, "oh wait, I already made something for this month...I'll just do it next month." And then the next month comes and I go, "wait, what was I gonna do again?"

"Song and dance are, perhaps, only a little less old than man himself. It is with his music and dance, the recreation through art of the rhythms suggested by and implicit in the tempo of his life and cultural environment, that man purges his soul of the tensions of daily strife and maintains his harmony in the universe. In the increasingly mechanized, automated, cybernated environment of the modern world -- a cold, bodiless world of wheels, smooth plastic surfaces, tubes, pushbuttons, transistors, computers, jet propulsion, rockets to the moon, atomic energy -- man's need for affirmations of his biology has become that much more intense. He feels need for a clear definition of where his body ends and the machine begins, where man ends and the extensions of man begin."

What's wrong with my face? Man, I must've left the shutter open on my camera a second too long. Oops silly me...

I thought he dropped out of the class or something. But he was there today. It's like there was a fucking spotlight on him. It's like that every time. Beyond sexy.

And that class is so huge, there must be hundreds in there. But I can easily spot him every time. Pure beauty.

I was getting a little worried (even though he doesn't know who I am...sigh) 'cause he hasn't been in the discussion sessions the past few times. Well, not worried, but...you know what I mean.

I would usually be able to sit right behind him and drool in my mind the entire fucking time. My heart is beating faster just thinking about it.

Why did he suddenly sit in my row? And why did he sit in MY seat the next class? Is he trying to communicate something to me that I'm totally missing?

Maybe I'm just dreaming too much.

There was that one time when my parents came to class with me and I sat next to him. I was in a shitty mood that day though. Looking at him through the corner of my eye, and daydreaming about him looking at me when somebody across the room is saying something (which would, theoretically, mean that he would haveta look somewhere in my general direction)...that's what made me happy.

Yeah, I know I know. Stoopid and temporary. But maybe he was lookin at me...

They tell me "good things will come when you're not expecting them." Hmm. My fingers are crossed.

PS: Tony, you are so talented and sexy, please clone yourself immediately and send him to Austin. :)

So as you can see, I've added an art section, which will be growing (like weed in your grandma's closet) in the near future. For now, there are a buncha photos up there.

Speaking of which, does anybody know the html code to get rid of the vertical scrollbar in those photo pop-up windows? Email me if ya know. Please please please. It looks like poop.

Now you can link to any post on this site. Not that anybody would want to or anything, but everyone else is doing it so I thought I'd be all hip and stuff and join the "blogging community." Conformity kicks ass!

Hmmph. Also new, by umm popular request, is the guestbook. Sign it, view it, or do whatever you're supposed to do in them.

I'm gonna change the text and stuff on the older sections really soon, but right now my eyes are slowly shutting by themselves. And the needle has been spinning at the end of the same John Williams/Itzhak Perlman record I've been listening to for the past 45 minutes. Great record, but It's been making this crackling noise that repeats like every 2 seconds. It's kinda neat, actually.

And I guess "blogging" is an action in some sense, but I dunno. If I went up to the average joe on the street and asked them "how often do you blog?" they would probably look at me with the same look I give people who use those new headset cell phones. The "what the...?" look.

Sometimes I sit here typing something and I feel like a total cheeseball, and I wonder if people actually enjoy the stuff I write, or if they think I'm arrogant, if they wanna hump me, or whatever. That'd be kinda scary if people wanna hump me and I don't even know who they are...

Actually that'd be kinda flattering, too, in a fucked up way.

-Donuts n' Glory, Sirens

Also, a few days ago, Free Radio Austin, a public, community-oriented radio station here in Austin, was shut down by the FCC, US Marshalls, and Austin Police for the second time in less than a month.

And instead of blaming the people for voting for the "wrong" candidate, question the American electoral college voting system, which pretty much elected your president for you. Or wonder why the fuck so many people voted for Bush in the first place, instead of pointing the finger at the minority left-wingers for "spoiling" the election for the two major parties. Boo fucking hoo, your favorite capitalist whore wasn't elected.

I'm not saying I'm happy that Bush was elected or anything...by all means, I have more trust in a fucking piece of tree bark than in his dumb ass. But instead of just getting so pissed off about the elections, I say, put your money where your mouth is and get some grass roots organization going! I don't like the death penalty, so I go out and shout my ass off in public. I feel bad for kids who grow up without parents or family (not to sound condescending), so I am volunteering at local organizations to spend time with them. etc etc

I'm not trying to say I am better or smarter than anyone else. I know I have a LOT to learn. But I think this sorta community-based stuff has a tremendous impact on society on many levels-- including government. Of course, things may not change overnight, but I believe things can get better over time.

Yeah, I know...cheesy cheesy cheesy. But last year I finally realized that sitting around, complaining about something will only get me so far.

Get out there and get active. Every little thing helps.

It was so easy to talk to her once again and tell her about my sexuality "revolution" since the last time we saw each other. It was the first time I actually felt somewhat comfortable coming out to someone.

This blog said I'm "witty" and "obscure." haha awesome.

So Bush won the election. I'm scared.

I went downtown to protest Bush & the death penalty with a group of people, then we stood on one street corner near the big Bush thing and chanted some more. This small group of police officers formed a line in front of us (they were "protecting" us by facing us? there's something wrong with this picture), and most of them wouldn't talk at all. This one cop was silent...I tried talking to him but he just looked at me and kept his robotic, half frown. So I tried talking to this other cop, I asked him if he worked out and he said he had a gym at home.

So there's not really a point to me talking to cops, but whatever.

C'mon, if Joey Fatone of N Sync voted for Nader*, you should too!

That was really dumb. But you get the point (well maybe not). Go out there and vote already.

A lot of people tell me "a vote for Nader is a vote for Bush" but I think that's ridiculous. This is what Moore said, which I completely agree with:

"Disgusted" is the key word.

This year was the first time I'd ever voted (I'm 18) for anything, and before I heard about Ralph Nader, I didn't even have any motivation to register myself to vote in this state. I hate to sound so apathetic or whatever, but I read through Gore and Bush's campaign(s) and I was very unimpressed. I pretty much thought to myself, "why should I vote if the everyone running for president sucks?" Pointless, I guess you could say.

But then I heard about Nader and I almost immediately sent in my voter registration form. Finally, someone who appeared to have a lot of the same views as me about capitalism, the environment, basic human rights, etc. He actually motivated me not only to vote, but also to get more active in my community-- politically, socially, or something. I dunno, I guess he gave me some sense of hope.

And I seriously believe a lot more people would be the same way if they stopped giving in to this "a vote for Nader is a vote for Bush" bullshit. Even my dad, an extremely intelligent person, said this to me...then when I asked him about what he thought about Nader's campaign, he didn't even really know a lot about what Nader stands for.

haha, oh geez, these are great. All actual Bush quotes, too.

Actually, let's not.

The thing that really bugs me about this type of blatantly anti-queer legislation is the lawmakers AND the people themselves never give some sort of rational reason for why same-sex marriages should not be legal (hmm maybe it's 'cause there IS no just rationale behind it). What possible reason could they give without sounding like fucking idiots??

"Gay people are destroying our traditional family values and...it's just....gross when they kiss in public. It's so disgusting, and I don't want my kids to grow up seeing that."

I guess I'd be quiet, too.

Nader: “Yes. It's really interesting, gay people want to serve in the military, they want to engage in civil unions, or marriage, and they want to adopt kids. If they weren't gay, people would say, well, that's really good to do.”

Exactly!! Man. You go, Nader.

How awesome is that? She really makes some good points...not bad for a 13 year old, huh?

I mean, geez, when I was 13, I was like sitting around feeling sorry myself, probably listening to Nirvana ('cause I so knew how Kurt felt, man...haha yeah right) and complaining about the kids at 7-11 who thought I couldn't speak English 'cause I'm a "fucking chink." Well guess what. I'm half-Korean, and surprise surprise: I speak English. My, oh my.

Queer people are taking over the internet. Be careful, we may "act gay" around YOU next! Blah.