March 21, 2003


/correspondence with a 6th grader, part 06

"war #3 in 2003 = not good
war why war shouldn't that have been the last place to turn in this 'argument'-thank you very much mr.bush what will the world come to when it has been devoured by bombs and bullets and littered with bodies left there left there from the war"

"i wonder whats going on in the mind[s] of the soldiers who are going to go to war .I wonder how they feel about defending our 'great'country and defending our zoo animal like 'president' gorge bush .I wonder how they feel about killing other peoples parents/loved ones/fiends. i kinda think the war is like two ill say dictators trying to kill each other cause bush got mad at france or europe cause they wanted peace and created 'freedom fries' and 'freedom toast' i mean those two items didnt even come origanally from france .so whats the war about oil? or does bush just wanna tell people when he was president he was in a war [cause isnt he the one who started it ? and how is this goin to prevent less 'terrorism' . bush is picking on a less developed country.is that goin to help if they have a lot of oil fields the could catch on fire ?"

"plus about goin to school - seeing friends and telling them who the person of the day i wanna punch is currently a kid named: jackson/mandy/jessica/chris/i thnk thas it
another plus about goin to school- goin to PE and goin on the football field and finding: beer bottle caps/ beer cans cigerett butts/cigertett boxes and other humorus things cause its a school.
have you ever thought about youve spent like ill say half your life in school not couting collage and how much you 'learned' from school beside reading adding/subtracting i think school is just there cause you have to wait to be in collage i mean when are you ever i goin to use : paul has 3/5 of a roll of speaker wire left.his sister uses 1/4 of it to move a speaker to here room. when in live is someone gointo ask you about paul and 3/5 of wire ? to me i think school is maybe just there like to keep you busy and board."

ps: BAGHDAD SNAPSHOT ACTION
pss: where is raed? an iraqi journal


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March 15, 2003


/it's a monument
mastodon - burning man

at which point every simple word and movement it seems should be logically followed by a gentle kiss or subtle sign of affection. i study his beautiful structure indirectly, my own interpretation, perhaps in the way a young child might observe a car wreck from the back seat of a vehicle, moving slowly through temporarily stalled traffic. mentally breaking apart the history, organizing the facts chronologically...yet i find myself still far from a stable conclusion, one that you could sell or at least allow others to tolerate without a complete and thorough sense of understanding of the situation at hand.


> 4 reactions




March 3, 2003


/sing yourself to sleep
pizzicato five - love's theme

the boyfriends pushed me into the big dude and he said its ok followed by a peck on the cheek and 'happy mardi gras' oh the warm lips! and then we just improvised from that moment on into the dim hours of the night where you start forgetting where you left your keys or if you remembered to put the milk back in the fridge or if saving your debit card receipts really means anything in the grande scheme of things.

i didnt even know it was mardi gras till we got to the malevolent creation show, where we watched two girls flirt shamelessly with the monster singer of anal blast, who had just finished describing methods of gruesome female genital torture through bassy flatulence-like vocal grumbles and apocalyptic roars. meanwhile i maintained my own motives in my own not so secret world.

the big dude, the biggest guy in there. one of those cheesy gaylord shirts that appear to be some abercrombie bullhockey, but its words are more an indication of a sexual role or particular fetish. but fuck it after the peck it elevated to feeling his therapeutic protective warmth close to me. powerful chest and arms, an interesting sweet scent, friendly green eyes, the kind you look into and can tell theyve been through some tough shit, some sort of enormous personal struggle.

because you look around and it seems like most of the other eyes want you for the wrong reasons, vultures casting thick shadows on a cracked sun-dried surface awaiting a fresh antelope corpse, a perfectly sliced raw tbone steak dipped slowly into a tank of purposely starved piranhas.

thats the scene in the movie where the camera view pans upward, and the water turns pink, air bubbles rising to sea level and popping in a logical sequence.

and then he's right in front of me, enjoying the taste of my lips, and i close my eyes...

i promised myself earlier that i wouldnt be one of those easy fucks that makes out with some guy on the dancefloor. shame on me. but maybe we need to break promises once in a while to take a step forward. something in the vein of life is too short. you look at yourself in the mirror of a crowded bathroom, so packed it feels like a steam bath, and tell yourself, 'be selfish once in a while you dumb fuck you deserve it.'


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