January 22, 2004
/is it really worth it
soilwork - asylum dance
i woke up a little too late so i just said fuck it and besides, it's much warmer where i am anyway. sometimes i wish i could spend more time there in the warmth, though i guess i could, even without physically being there?
enough of this feeling like a bookend or a marker of convenience, sometimes it's more fun to be free of certain bonds, other times it can drive you fucking bonkers, but thats another thing that you and only you can really control, everything on the mental plane is within reach through some good ole patience and determination right?
or maybe just mediation, or holding yourself back once in a while. cuz risks are fun, but sometimes so is silence.
January 20, 2004
i dipped my hands in the tupperware container to coat my hands with a thin layer of blood but dont worry cuz it was blood of deer, not human, so its ok, and cory told me to put blood especially on my inner thumbs cuz thats what will be prevalent in the photograph. the heart was thawed, purple, membrane broken to provide more detail, i cradled it in my hands as if it was some sort of offering, haha, an offering to the dark elf king of enthroned majestry, duh, actually it wasnt too gross and the twin cats watching curiously nearby, pet dander, clogged up my nostrils, but at one point a whiff of perhaps old piss attacked my nose, smelled like a disgusting asshole.
January 19, 2004
/tru luv in 2k4
pestilence - chronic infection
i feel like writing again so here i go. i was invited to my friend's pizza party and she turned 13 so i drew of picture of me in a dino mask and gave her an assacre button, the last one from the bunch. we pretended to smooch & we have the printout to prove it.
i turned 22 not too long ago & got a ticket to see one of my heros, front & center, holy shit!!!!
my mom leaves really cute messages on my phone, i save them & like to listen to them before i go to sleep, warms me up.
mishka is here right now, we talk of the future, changes, obsessions, & tonite we went to this bowling alley where these girls i met were freaked out cuz the manager of their sushi bar planted a hidden camera inside the fake plants in the girls bathroom and now they dont know what to do. i think theyre gonna get him in deep trouble.
i was supposed to play a show a couple nights ago, stupid ass police officers broke it up & gave mom a ticket, so gay, hope they eat some nasty undercooked meat and vomit/shit blood. oh well it was fun while it lasted.
July 24, 2003
/a lot more action
dark angel - darkness descends
there are lots more goodies stacking up over here, inspired by the word of the day, drunken fights in front of fraternities, analyses of serial killers, tin roof flavoured ice cream in waffle cones.
March 21, 2003
/correspondence with a 6th grader, part 06
"war #3 in 2003 = not good
war why war shouldn't that have been the last place to turn in this 'argument'-thank you very much mr.bush what will the world come to when it has been devoured by bombs and bullets and littered with bodies left there left there from the war"
"i wonder whats going on in the mind[s] of the soldiers who are going to go to war .I wonder how they feel about defending our 'great'country and defending our zoo animal like 'president' gorge bush .I wonder how they feel about killing other peoples parents/loved ones/fiends. i kinda think the war is like two ill say dictators trying to kill each other cause bush got mad at france or europe cause they wanted peace and created 'freedom fries' and 'freedom toast' i mean those two items didnt even come origanally from france .so whats the war about oil? or does bush just wanna tell people when he was president he was in a war [cause isnt he the one who started it ? and how is this goin to prevent less 'terrorism' . bush is picking on a less developed country.is that goin to help if they have a lot of oil fields the could catch on fire ?"
"plus about goin to school - seeing friends and telling them who the person of the day i wanna punch is currently a kid named: jackson/mandy/jessica/chris/i thnk thas it
another plus about goin to school- goin to PE and goin on the football field and finding: beer bottle caps/ beer cans cigerett butts/cigertett boxes and other humorus things cause its a school.
have you ever thought about youve spent like ill say half your life in school not couting collage and how much you 'learned' from school beside reading adding/subtracting i think school is just there cause you have to wait to be in collage i mean when are you ever i goin to use : paul has 3/5 of a roll of speaker wire left.his sister uses 1/4 of it to move a speaker to here room. when in live is someone gointo ask you about paul and 3/5 of wire ? to me i think school is maybe just there like to keep you busy and board."
ps: BAGHDAD SNAPSHOT ACTION
pss: where is raed? an iraqi journal
> 2 reactions
March 15, 2003
/it's a monument
mastodon - burning man
at which point every simple word and movement it seems should be logically followed by a gentle kiss or subtle sign of affection. i study his beautiful structure indirectly, my own interpretation, perhaps in the way a young child might observe a car wreck from the back seat of a vehicle, moving slowly through temporarily stalled traffic. mentally breaking apart the history, organizing the facts chronologically...yet i find myself still far from a stable conclusion, one that you could sell or at least allow others to tolerate without a complete and thorough sense of understanding of the situation at hand.
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